How to talk to your child about marriage in the age of social media
Parents who are still searching for the best ways to teach their children about marriage and their commitment to it are being hit by the biggest and most frequent challenges of their new lives.
“We’re finding that kids are trying to figure out what’s the best way to talk about it, what’s going to get them to talk more, and they’re not necessarily being told by the adults who have to make the decisions,” said Lisa Satterfield, founder of Marriage Counseling Institute, a website that connects parents with marriage counselors.
“They’re being told, ‘Oh, I want to teach your kids this.’
And then they’re told, “I don’t want to do that because you don’t have to do it.'”
Satterlands own daughter, who is a college student, has struggled with how to explain her feelings to her parents about marriage, and the difficulty of learning the words. “
I’m trying to be a parent who’s not going to put them on a pedestal, because if I do, they’ll never grow up and find a better way to tell their stories,” she said.
Satterlands own daughter, who is a college student, has struggled with how to explain her feelings to her parents about marriage, and the difficulty of learning the words.
She’s not being taught that her mother has an affair and that she’s cheating on her boyfriend.
And she’s not learning that she has a child who’s pregnant with her child, and she doesn’t know how to talk with her husband about it.
And that’s the biggest problem, said Satterfeys.
“So, the biggest challenge, the hardest challenge, is that they’re still learning the things that you’re supposed to be teaching them,” she explained.
“And they’re learning it in their own little world.
And it’s very hard for them to make those decisions for themselves.”
Satterstein says the challenge of teaching kids about a topic that is so important to them and so hard to get right is one of the most frustrating aspects of raising a child, because parents are often caught up in the social media bubble.
And with marriage being such a major topic, it’s easy for parents to get caught up on the topics they want to talk.
“It’s like a puzzle that they don’t really understand the pieces of,” Satterland said.
“You’re just looking at it and saying, ‘Why did this come up in that context?’
And they’re like, ‘Well, that’s why, but I don’t know why it’s there.'”
It’s not just about kids being confused by their parents’ marriage advice.
Sapperfield said her experience teaching her son about marriage has also taught her that sometimes it’s not what parents are saying that matters, but the way they’re saying it.
“A lot of times they’re just telling me what to do, and I’m like, I’m sorry,” she recalled.
“But I don, and then they say something else, and it’s like, well, that was the wrong way to say it.”
And sometimes, even when parents are just saying things like, “Don’t ever get married, and always keep your kids close,” things can get out of hand.
“That’s a problem, because that’s like telling my son, ‘You know, I hate my parents,'” Satter said.
She said her daughter has been telling her about the need for more communication between her and her husband and the need to have a loving and stable home life.
And even though she’s learned the word “love,” Sasserstein said she still thinks her daughter needs to be taught a different word.
“She doesn’t need to be told that, because she knows, she knows what I’m saying, but she doesn, and sometimes it feels like she’s saying it in a very negative way,” she added.
“Sometimes it feels very, very sad, and that’s because it’s a word that’s so negative.”
When she did a Google search about how to teach children about love, Sasserfeys found a page on Marriage Counselor.com that’s written by a husband and wife.
The husband’s advice, which she describes as “somewhat common sense,” says that you should talk to them about the importance of loving and caring for your spouse, but you should never judge their choices because you may be “giving them a bad lesson.”
Sasserison, who has two young children, told ABC News that it’s up to the parents to be clear about what they want their children to know about marriage before they are taught.
“What I would say is, the best thing you can do is to say to your children, ‘Don’t judge, you don.
It’s OK if you disagree with me.
It doesn’t mean you hate me, because it doesn’t,” she stressed.
“Be open to them.
Don’t judge them.
And I think that’s a good thing,